Seeing the video of my TEDxKicthenerEd Talk posted on TED.com felt triumphant. The most obvious reason that it felt so epic was that I fulfilled a dream. Having an idea worth spreading and actually getting to share it was something I had hoped I would get to do for quite some time. Also, it was a chapter in my personal and professional story that I was given the time, place and space to tell and to keep sharing.
I fell in love with TED from the first talk, and it quickly became part of my learning and teaching resources. My first TED Talk was Do Schools Kill Creativity? by Sir Ken Robinson. It was a revelation. Then, I had switched schools and was working with a Curriculum Coach who became my mentor and friend. Ricki Wortzman showed me many inspiring TED talks. Then, I started using TED videos in my classroom as catalysts for conservation and to inspire and motivate my students.
At the same time, I was creating new Building Outside the Blocks projects- BOBs. The one behind my talk began as The Personal Soundtrack. It was something I came up with while sitting at Starbucks preparing to return to Middle School after my third and final maternity leave. I was creating three separate but connected projects, allowing my students to develop several learning and curricular skills over time. I wanted my students to explore and share their senses of identity while building the skills to meet grade-level expectations. I had decided on a tri-BOB that would include a self portrait, a soundtrack and something related to photographs. I wanted to call them something that would sound interrelated, so I played with the letters and came up with the PS Series: a Portrait of yourSelf, a Personal Soundtrack and Photo Synthesis. These projects invite students to use a variety of mediums, and be creative with exercising choice and voice.
In my second year of facilitating the PS Series, my Middle Years Program (MYP) Coordinator, Dr. Revalyn Faba Sack, asked me if she could have my students interviewed about this project they now called the PS2 for Open Door, an initiative that used video to capture classroom activities across different IB (International Baccalaureate) schools. I agreed, so my colleague filmed some of the Personal Soundtrack presentations in my classroom and then interviewed my students in a neighbouring classroom. I was astounded to see the video and realize how deeply meaningful these projects were to my Grade 7’s. I made an edited version to share:
Soon after, I started speaking at conferences and would always include time to introduce this project.
I was first introduced to Stephen Hurley and voicEd Radio as a panelist, brought onto the weekly live OnEdMentors show by Derek Rhodenizer. Somehow, Stephen thought that I “had a podcast in me”. After months of dissuasion, I sat down to meet him face to face for the first time over lunch at The Union Social Eatery- a halfway point. When he asked me to start a podcast of my own, I not only didn’t say no this time, but I had suddenly come up with an idea for a show based on that project from my class. I used similar categories of songs from the Personal Soundtrack, but as I casually declared that i could have a podcast using this project from my classroom as a premise for interviewing educators, getting to know them and their stories while unpacking their songs, I renamed it as The Personal Playlist Podcast. Stephen asked to be my first guest, and the P3 was born.
That Fall, I attended my first TEDxKitchenerEd event. I marvelled at the speakers, some of whom I knew personally or was just getting to know through their guest appearances on my podcast. All of a sudden, a dream that felt distant came closer and was revised. I wanted to do a talk at TEDxKitchenerEd.
With no word about the next event in sight, I took a storytelling course called Storytelling for Change with a friend who introduced me to the program. One of the pieces of text we had to read contained an insight from Dr. Pamela Rutledge:
“Stories are how we think. They are how we make meaning of life. Call them schemas, scripts, cognitive maps, mental models, metaphors, or narratives. Stories are how we explain how things work, how we make decisions, how we persuade others, how we understand our place in the world, create identities, and define and teach social values.”
That is when I realized that, more than music being a story, music was an avenue to people’s stories. It was an interesting way to get into storytelling- something I really wanted and still want to get better at, but it also became the place where I began writing what became my TEDx talk.
When the proposals for TEDxKitchenerEd came out in the Spring of 2019, I was sure it would take me several tries to get in. I spent the least amount of time I had ever spent writing the proposal for my talk. I threw caution to the wind, quickly proposed a talk based on this project, pressed submit, and was totally thrown when I received a positive response. I then spent every moment I could in July writing this talk before leaving on a family trip in August. The talk came from my present and my past. It was the story of the P3, but it was also a story of me. I was sweating about what to include and what to take out, the order it should be in, and the phrasing. Writing this talk was a soulful catharsis, and I was grateful for the chance to get my thoughts on paper, even if they didn't all make the final draft.
TEDxKitchenerEd was first scheduled to be in September, so I entrusted a few people to guide me. First, Andrew Bieronski, who is the Founder and Director of TEDxKitchenerEd, gave me feedback on the number of slides I had submitted, kindly reminding me that my focus should be on the talk and not the presentation. That necessitated my first big edits of text and a lot of my images. Then, Jen Giffen offered to be my first audience. She gave me some great feedback and helped me edit out several images and rejig the quotes from my students. Then, I saw Dr. Debbie Donsky at a Learning Forward Ontario event. Besides her being my first educrush, deeply admiring her as an educator, she had become my friend. That didn’t make it any less intimidating when Deb offered to help me prepare for the talk. She was the main reason I had travelled to TEDxKicthenerEd two years before. I was almost as nervous to share it with her as I was to present on the day of the event. Her feedback was so helpful, and I took her advice about practicing. I stopped listening to music in the car or on dog walks and was feeding myself an audio diet of my talk. I presented virtually to one of my oldest friends, Jen Lankshear, and in my office to Sharon Newman. A few students watched and gave me feedback when I presented to our school's Drama teacher, Christian Scarlato. The process was long and arduous and, even though it was hard, I was determined to deliver a meaningful and fully memorized talk.
Three weeks before the scheduled event, TEDxKitchenerEd was postponed. I could hardly breathe when I read Andrew’s email. I had spent so much time, so much of the summer and so much of myself on this talk. Although it was only postponed, I didn’t believe it would ever come to be. If you know me at all, it is the antithesis of my normal character arc. I traditionally err on the side of optimism, but I had trouble finding the horizon. I tried to find comfort in knowing that I was able to write this talk. It would be almost two months before hearing the great news of a revised date.
In that time, I had found needed perspective and hope in the project I had been writing about. I had introduced The Personal Playlist Project to this year’s Grade 8’s, and they were mid-presentations with only a few students sharing each day over a 6 week period. I looked forward to evolving my talk to include this year's P3 story. I learned even more from facilitating this project for a second time and, as a result, added several new elements to my talk.
When the day of the event finally arrived, I sat in the audience for the first half of TEDxKicthenerEd after taking in the beautiful space. I enjoyed each talk without thinking of my own, until the final one before the break. The amazing Joni NehRita was speaking in between song and, like a hypnotist saying the trigger word, I began falling apart at the mention of the word rollercoaster. I felt nauseous and really nervous in an instant. I turned to Deb for comfort, and she just reminded me to breathe. I didn’t shake that feeling until I took the stage.
When it was time for my talk, I listened to Bob Kline introduce me, and it all just felt right. I walked on stage, and it didn’t unravel me to discover that my teleprompter wasn’t on, even though it worked perfectly rehearsal. I rolled with having to rely on my hours of memorization. I messed a few things up, but no one seemed to notice. I was grounded in the comfort of friendly faces, friends, and family who had come to support me, and I was grounded by being able to look at my husband and eldest daughter who had both helped me put the final touches on my delivery. I presented the talk I wanted to with the slides I had carefully curated for the event, and it felt incredible.
I was surprised when I saw the draft of the video for the first time. TED provides clear parameters of what can be included, so the videographers had taken out most of my slides. I felt a disconnect between what I had shared and what was captured. Then, I remembered Andrew’s coaching and support. He had tried to explain that this was a talk and not a presentation. Then, I finally understood. By the time the final draft was ready, I felt proud again. When I watched Play It Forward on TED.com, I began to really celebrate this dream come true.
Now, I feel empowered to not just share the message of this talk but to actually fulfil its title. People are home and feeling isolated. I feel good to be able to share this project that invites people to go on a journey of self discovery as they develop their three song playlist. Exploring and reflecting on what these songs mean in their lives and sharing this project through virtual classrooms or as family members is not a panacea for this pandemic, but it does give people purpose and a chance at personalization at a time when the power of music needs to be harnessed and shared. Music is a way in and a way out for people. I hope you enjoy the talk and I hope, even more, that you find someone with whom you can share and Play It Forward.
