Hope, Healing and Compassion- Chris Nihmey's P3

Chris Nihmey is a mental illness survivor. He is a Canadian Ambassador with the Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health and was selected as one of the five 2017-18 Faces of Mental Illness. This summer, he was the recipient of Ottawa’s Mayor City Builder Award for his continued work in mental health in the city and beyond. An author of 5 publications, a motivational speaker, and a teacher, he now speaks about his road to recovery from three debilitating illnesses; from the challenges that nearly ended him, to the triumphs of finding faith, hope, and purpose in his life. Chris is a true symbol of resilience and resolve, an example of what will happen when a sufferer is listened to, accepted, and loved. A sufferer must then be ready to make their healing a full-time job. They must “want” to heal. As he always says,“With a want, there’s a way. Mental illness can be overcome. Healing DOES happen. Never lose hope.”

Chris is able to use and share the tools that have healed him. Chris asserts that healing really does happen, and he shares his story with other people to give them hope, purpose, and meaning in their lives, something he found through writing. At the beginning, Chris was hesitant to share his truth, especially as a teacher. “Revealing something that big - I wasn’t ready for a long time to do so.” Luckily, his healing got to a level where he could live a happy life. For him, the writing of his story also made him want to share his sense of purpose and inspire others. Chris feels that the more you remove your mask, even to a few people you trust, the more you can get the support that pushes you forward towards your healing.

Chris is a big fan of music. “It’s always been an inspiration of my healing... give[s] me ideas and motivation to do the things I do.” While he had never really thought about the songs in the categories of The Personal Playlist Podcast, each of these songs has deep meaning for him and tell a story about his life.

Chris's nostalgic song reflects both the lyrics and the context of the song. The song was written by Queen’s guitarist, Brian May, when the lead singer, Freddie Mercury, was battling the disease that eventually killed him. The lyrics helped Chris realized that he, too, was hiding his illness. “When I was going through my years of teaching, even before I was diagnosed, I had awful days where I had to put on a fake smile. I had to put on a mask and pretend that things were good.” Chris had to hide these things about himself in order to persevere because, at that time, sharing your struggles was unheard of. This could have opened the door to stigma and other negative ramifications. “You just didn't talk about mental health.” Chris would put on his mask and channel this song including the lyrics, “Inside my heart is breaking, my make-up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on.” Here is The Show Must Go On by Queen:

Chris has always been touched by his identity song. It’s about reaching out and helping someone who is suffering and alone. When he first heard this song, Chris has a recollection of when he was a young 8 year old. His parents started a Christmas Dinner at a hall in the church. It grew from a few people to a few hundred people. “We did this for 21 years, and it only came to an end because someone fabricated a complaint about something that wasn't cooked well.” For 21 years, they brought people of different abilities and needs into the church, and it motivated Chris to work with the disadvantaged. The song is about “...a girl on the streets, and she was so ashamed of being the streets, and people were ignoring her.” Chris realized how many people in the world were struggling. Along with his work with his parents, he started volunteering at shelters. “I prepared meals, I served meals, I worked one-on-one with people who were there.” For five years, he spoke to people and learned that most of the people out on the street are enduring from some type of mental illness. “I experienced people one-on-one who suffer...who are out on the street, they're confused...just by being there for these people, I could change the way they looked at themselves. I could change the way they perceived the world because I was showing them that there are people [who] care, there are people [who] want to help them, there are people [who] are also suffering but are willing to put the time in, and the effort, and the compassion and acceptance to making their day better.”

When he heard this song it made him want to go out and make a difference. Chris wanted to help others and give them hope to keep getting better. He wrote a book called Sally about a teenage boy befriending a homeless woman. He first wrote it in 2005, thinking it was going to be about this boy who was helping a homeless woman by making her life better. In the end, she changed his life by giving him another perspective. It wasn’t until 2013 that Chris added this to his memoir and then finally had it illustrated to make a difference in kids’ lives, published in 2015. This song inspires him but also reflects his life’s work. Here is Phil Collins’ Another Day in Paradise:

Chris's motivational song is deeply personal. “It’s a special song. It goes directly to my heart.” In 2014, his mother passed away from breast cancer. Chris believes that he would have been on the streets if it weren't for his father, sister and, especially, his mother. “I look at my family as my heroes. They never let me go. We can never let our loved ones go.” For two months, Chris was in the real and symbolic darkness of his parents’ basement. “It was my mom who continued to come downstairs and bring the soup and bring my medication and force me to take that medication.” Even when he was cruel to her, his mother still came down and continued to care for him and talk to him. “My parents never gave up on me. No matter what I went through, no matter what I said or did, they were still there.” Chris’ mom taught him to make others a priority in his life. When she was passing away, Chris held her hand, and she said to him, “Promise me that you will not go down when I’m gone.” She believed that she was not dying but passing on, and assured Chris that she would see him again. He dedicates his presentations to his mother, and she is his hero. “She never gave up on herself or on us.” Like it says in the song: And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on, and you cast your fears aside, and you know you can survive. She is the one who led their family and why Chris’ song is Hero by Mariah Carey:

When Chris reflected on his P3 song choices, he realized that there was a common thread and how powerful the music really is. “In talking about them, you realize that they are even more connected to you than you thought at first. There was such a connection between the three as well…because it’s all about my journey from... death to life...realizing that you can make a difference...and be that hero yourself….” Chris knows that you need to want to heal and that people should want to do more than just survive. “Healing is a process.” The more difference he makes in other lives, though, the more it feeds his ability to make a difference in his own life. Chris believes that he is doing what he is supposed to do in this world. “Life is about me being there for others and others being there for me.”

There are many ways to get in touch with Chris. You can go to his website, chrisnihmey.com, which helps you get to know him and all of his work. You can also find out how to bring Chris to inspire your school or organization. He is the only Chris Nihmey on Facebook which makes him believe that he may be the only Chris Nihmey in the world. This certainly helps him as an author. Chris’ books are available on Amazon, at Indigo and Barnes & Noble. You can also follow Chris on Twitter.