Jennifer Abrams is an international consultant, presenter and writer. She is the author of Having Hard Conversations and Hard Conversations Unpacked as well as the co-author of The Multigenerational Workplace. She had contributed to a bevy of other texts and is working on a new book titled Playing in the Deep End of the Pool. I first heard Jennifer speak when she was a guest on Derek Rhodenizer’s Beyond the Staffroom, and I was excited to begin learning more about her amazing contributions to education, leadership and effective communication. It was such a pleasure to have Jennifer on the Personal Playlist Podcast.
When Jennifer and I connected, she was speaking to me from her brother’s house in her home state of Minnesota, even though she now lives in Palo Alto, California. As she began discussing her nostalgic song, she referred to visiting her family, graduating from high school and leaving Minneapolis both mentally and physically. In many ways, her song choice relates to how she felt following her truth and pursuing her own life, wherever that took her. She didn’t want to plot out her life in black and white or stay in side the lines, like it says in the song. Here is Jennifer's nostalgic song No Such Thing by John Mayer:
Jennifer slipped into her hometown accent as she described growing up in the Midwest and having a life grounded in kindness and a deep sense of community. While “she got out,” she also described her many friends who joyfully returned. Her spirit, though, was driving her to keep searching. She reminisced, “I come back for my high school reunions, and I have a really lovely time.” Being a Midwesterner in California for the past 30 years “aligns” for our guest. Going to work on the east coast, travelling, gaining insight and understanding of people from around the world and learning different ways of communicating were such essential experiences for her. As someone who helps people have “hard conversations”, Jennifer's worldliness and deep understanding of different points of view are real assets. She conjured the limiting perspectives depicted, tongue-and-cheek, in the image below.
Jennifer chose her identity song because of the artist and the lyrics. “She is such a trailblazer for me. You can sing and act and get married and not get married…and direct and write and produce”. Jennifer referred to this legendary artist pushing up against the sexism of her field and relating it to the world of educational leadership and keynote speaking which is still disproportionately male. Hearing “don’t” is more of a motivator, and Jennifer, like the artist, is undeterred and unafraid. “This time a ripple, next time a wave.” She just has to show a little toe. Here is Everybody Says Don’t by Barbara Streisand:
Jennifer shared, “The answer to how is YES,” alluding to Peter Block’s books and congruent with how our guest moves forward. Whether it’s positive swearing or positive music, Jennifer’s light-you-up song is by another trailblazer who she was supposed to see at the Sydney Opera House and is looking forward to her take-two, as the concert was cancelled. Referring to the song meaning but also the common thread between her song choices, Jennifer talked about staying courageous. “You either follow or you lead.” Whether you are high or low, here is a song to add some sizzle to your step, Janelle Monae singing Tightrope:
As we closed up this easy conversation, I was pumped for a great day. People have said to her, “I can’t believe that we’re in a Hard Conversation workshop, and we’re laughing so much.” Jennifer wants to make sure that all interactions are done in as humane and growth-producing a way as possible. She keeps people going with her positivity and I enjoyed learning about her playlist. When asked if there was a song left out, she didn’t miss a beat answering with Standing Outside the Fire by Garth Brooks. It added to the themes of building fires and perseverance. If you want to learn more about Jennifer Abrams, check out her website, follow her on Twitter, read her books and don't be afraid to have hard conversations with yourself and others.